This is a topic that has come up more times than I can mention over my career in helping people lose weight and is something I know a lot of people struggle with.
Which of these statements ring true to you?
- I’ll start my diet after Christmas / Easter / my holiday / my birthday / etc etc etc
- I’ll not lose weight this week because I’m out for dinner / at a party / at a wedding / away for the weekend / etc etc etc
- I should have a good weight loss next week because I’ve got a ‘clear week’
I’m writing this blog in March and just in the next 6 weeks, we have Mother’s Day, Easter, several Bank Holidays, Ramadan, Eid, Passover as well as the clocks going forward meaning lighter nights and warmer weather to enjoy. Add to that any individual celebrations or events you have to enjoy – birthdays, day trips, a special wedding, a weekend away, anniversaries – how on earth can you navigate all of that and all of the temptations that will come your way?
Having a social life and still meeting your weight loss goals - yes it is possible!
Whenever I embarked on one of my many fad diets during my 20s and early 30s, the first hurdle I’d come across was always a ‘night out’ – whether that was a meal out, a party or a night on the town – and inevitably, would be the event that made me give up whatever restrictive fad diet I was currently trying out. I definitely was not prepared to give up my social life in order to lose weight but in my head going out meant that I was throwing my diet out of the window and reverting right back to my old ways. The pattern (you may recognise it!) would be:
- start crazy fad diet on a Monday and stick at it for 4-5 days
- go out at the weekend – eat and drink exactly as I always had
- wake up the next day feeling guilty / annoyed at myself and believing that I’d never be able to stick at any diet for long enough to actually lose weight
- give up crazy fad diet and go right back to my old ways (and put on any of the pounds I’d managed to lose in the previous 4-5 days)
- a few weeks later, start new crazy fad diet on a Monday and stick at it for 4-5 days…..
Some of my top tips to enjoying your social life without losing sight of your weight loss goals
You don’t want to spend the rest of your life either avoiding social situations or letting guilt ruin what was a great day / evening out so it’s important to come up with strategies that work for you and help you get the right balance. Here’s a few suggestions that you may want to try,
1
Ask yourself 'Is this event worth a weight gain?'
A good friend of mine who lost 5 stone and is maintaining that loss uses this strategy to help her navigate the various events and social situations she has to face during a year. She looks at specific events such as birthdays, Christmas, Easter and family holidays and decides which of those she is prepared to gain weight for and which ones she can enjoy within her healthy eating boundaries. She chooses her own birthday, Christmas and her annual two week holiday abroad as the events that she is ok with gaining weight and will therefore enjoy food and drink that she normally wouldn’t choose but for her grown up son’s birthdays and Easter, she’s happy to stick to her normal eating patterns and enjoy the celebrations without overindulging.
2
Pick your 'poison'
Poison isn’t the best choice of words here as I really don’t believe in ‘good and bad’ foods however there are certain foods and drinks we all know aren’t the best for us and that will definitely get in the way of our weight loss goals but we all have our own particular favourites. For me, I’m definitely a dessert girl so by ‘picking my poison’ I mean that if I’m going out for a special dinner, I’m going to choose the healthiest options for starter and main and then enjoy whatever dessert I fancy. I’m limiting the unhealthy choices and focussing on the thing that I know I’m going to enjoy the most.
I follow this strategy when I’m on holiday too – limit the unhealthy choices but enjoy the things that I really want the most.
3
Get the support of friends and family
Talking to your friends and family in advance of the social event can really help – explain what your choices are and how you are looking to eat and drink healthily / you don’t want dessert etc. It can really help you to keep to your plan
4
Plan in advance
Decide on your strategy in advance and plan accordingly.
– This could mean eating a snack or a meal before you go so that you don’t arrive at your event hungry
– If going to a restaurant, check out the menu and decide exactly what you are going to have (and choose a Plan B option in case your first choice isn’t available) and don’t be afraid to ask the waiter to customise the meal (swapping unhealthier options out for healthy choices)
– check out the side dishes and always add a side of vegetables or salad to your main course
– if you are drinking, decide what your tipple is going to be and how many you are going to have
5
Decide on a 'back to normal' time
Quite often, it’s not the food and drink we consume on our ‘special occasion’ that is the reason for a weight gain, it’s the feeling of ‘well, I’ve ruined the week now so I may as well just keep going and get back on track on Monday / Tuesday / after my weekly weigh in that does the most damage. So, if you are going to forget about your healthy eating goal for a particular event, set yourself a ‘back to normal’ deadline. I use this for holidays / weekends away for example. My ‘back to normal’ is as soon as I get off the plane / out of the car at the house – no guilt allowed for what I’ve consumed but that’s my signal to get right back to my normal healthy eating rather than letting it spiral for a few more days.
6
Gatherings at someone's house
This isn’t always possible but offer to take a dish with you and prepare something healthy and filling so that you can tuck into this and limit the less healthy options provided
7
Alcohol
– choose your tipple before you go and stick to that choice, going for a spirit with a diet mixer is a lower calorie alternative than wine or beer
– set a limit on how many you are going to drink before you go!
– have a soft drink first when you arrive
– alternate your drinks so that you have a soft drink or water in between each boozy beverage
– avoid getting into rounds – you’ll end up drinking more than you planned!
And most importantly, let go of any guilt!
You’re not going to live the rest of your life without going out to dinner, enjoying an afternoon tea on Mother’s Day or having a few vinos on holiday – you are allowed and it definitely doesn’t mean you’ve failed or ruined anything! It makes me sad when someone has had a lovely time celebrating a special occasion with loved ones but immediately after the event are wracked with guilt and shame about what they ate or drank and forget about the special memories they’ve created. The key is about balance! I’d be lying if I said you could go out every weekend and eat and drink what you like and still expect to reach your weight loss and healthy eating goals, you will need to be prepared to make changes so that you can go out every weekend, have fun with your friends and family and still reach your goals!
What changes have you made to your eating and drinking habits when socialising or for special events? Do you have any top tips to share?
I support all of my 1-2-1 coaching clients to help them navigate their individual danger zones and triggers coming up with strategies that work for them long term. If you’d like any more information on how my coaching programmes work, I’d love to hear from you. Just drop me a message on 07843 442607 or email georgina@mealplansmadeeasy.co.uk